What if the Olympics came to Blytheville?

I enjoy watching the Olympics.

Aside from taking a sudden interest in sports I was otherwise unaware of before — like "short-track speed skating" and "moguls" — one of my favorite parts of any Olympic Games is the opening ceremony.

Host cities usually use the opening ceremony to shine a spotlight on local and national heritage and culture. Beijing did this with great success during the 2008 Summer Games; and other than a faulty hydraulic on an overly complex Olympic cauldron, Vancouver has done the same this go-around.

Of course, Blytheville will never host an Olympic games. The suggestion is obviously ludicrous. All the same, as I watched the opening ceremony last Friday, and learned a few things I didn't know about Canadian culture, it got me thinking about what such a ceremony might look like if Blytheville was, indeed, an Olympic host site. How would an opening ceremony spotlight Blytheville's heritage?

The cynical answer is easy: Throw together a bunch of four-wheelers, some unemployed (and unemployable) workers and people who go absolutely crazy at the sight of a few flakes of snow, and you've pretty much got your show.

But we could probably do at least a little better than that.

An honest attempt at an opening ceremony featuring the heritage of the Blytheville area would, like Vancouver's, have to start with the native American population that once inhabited the area. In our case, they were the mound-builders, who built thriving cities in the area.

The next part, I think, would be about the lumber era, featuring the rise of the area's first real industry — an industry which provided much of the raw material used to rebuild Chicago after the Great Fire of 1871.

That could be followed by a section devoted to agriculture, especially cotton. When you have one of the top five cotton-producing counties in the country, you've got to include it in the show.

And, of course, there would be an air base tribute included in the ceremony. I would think this topic would lend itself well to some creative use of aerial special effects.

The final section of our opening ceremony would spotlight the local rise of the steel industry. I'm thinking pyrotechnics could play a big role here.

How it all would come together, I have no idea. I can't begin to match the mind-blowing creative genius that goes into creating the pageantry and grandeur of an Olympic opening ceremony.

But I do think Blytheville's history could provide a interesting backdrop for such a show. When you have a community that has been dominated by such diverse economic forces — lumber, agriculture, military and steel — you've got a pretty unique story to tell.

It's all wishful thinking, of course. Blytheville has about as good of chance as hosting an Olympics as the planet Neptune. The closest remote possibility would be for Memphis to one day host the Games. But given that city's political track record, I won't be holding my breath.

So while Blytheville may never be able to attract mogul skiers and short-track speed skaters, we can at least know that if the Olympics ever did come to town, we would be able to put on a pretty good show.