Anyone worth rooting for in baseball playoffs?

The Major League Baseball playoffs begin today, and there’s no St. Louis Cardinals to be found anywhere.

That pretty much sounds to me like a recipe to forget about baseball altogether, and turn my sights toward the much more worthwhile college and professional football seasons.

But before we write off the baseball season completely, perhaps it’s worth taking a look at the teams competing in the playoffs to see if there’s anyone worth rooting for.

We probably ought to start off by talking about the champions of the NL Central, the Chicago Cubs. Personally, I don’t care how deserving they may be, nor do I give a lick about their compelling story, what with it being a century since the club won a World Series and all. I just can’t bring myself to cheer for the Chicago Cubs. Sure, part of it is the whole Cardinals arch-nemesis thing. But more than that, it’s the fact that back home in Iowa, there is a pathetically large concentration of Cubs fans. And if the Cubs win the World Series, it’s just not going to be bearable to go home for the holidays.

On the American League side, I see there’s a team from Tampa Bay in the playoffs. Is it just me, or there something that just doesn’t seem right about a Major League baseball team in Tampa Bay? Tampa Bay used to be the "Devil Rays," but apparently sometime when I wasn't paying attention, they exorcised their demons, and became just the "Rays." And honestly, “Tampa Bay Rays” sounds more like something you’d expect to see in the Class A Florida State League than in the American League East.

Then there’s the Philadelphia Phillies and the Boston Red Sox. The Phillies provide close competition for the Rays in the “stupidest team nickname” contest; while the Red Sox are just plain annoying. Besides that, both teams are from East Coast metropolises, and people from cities like that are always pretty much full of themselves. It’s the same story whether it’s Boston or Philadelphia, or New York or Washington. The East Coast elitists make it out to be a HUGE deal, while the rest of the country is just bored.

The Los Angeles Dodgers are an intriguing option. For much of my youth, I was a mild Dodgers fan. You see, my dad was never much of a baseball fan, so I wasn’t indoctrinated into the fandom of any professional baseball team. One of my best friends in elementary school was Chris Ransom, and he was a Dodgers fan, so I pretty much became one too, cheering for the likes of Steve Garvey, Ron Cey and Fernando Valenzuela. Luckily, when I got to college, I fell in with right crowd, and they introduced me to the clear righteousness of the Cardinal Nation. I haven’t cheered for the Dodgers since, and I see no reason to have a relapse now.

For that matter, I can’t cheer for the Dodgers’ cross-town rivals, the Angels, either. I don’t see how any person could be a fan of a team that doesn’t know who they are. Growing up, it was always the “California Angels.” But then it became the “Anaheim Angels,” and now it’s something like the “Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California.” If that wasn’t enough, the Angels were also featured in that cheesy Disney movie “Angels in the Outfield” a few years back. How could anyone cheer for a team after that?

With the Chicago White Sox knocking off the Minnesota Twins Tuesday night to earn the last playoff spot, the Windy City is no doubt all aquiver at the thought of a "Lake Michigan Series." At that’s enough reason for me to root against the White Sox. Furthermore, I have a natural fear of any sports team whose nickname doesn’t end with an “s.”

That leaves the Milwaukee Brewers. And if I have to pick a team to cheer for in these baseball playoffs, I guess the Brewers would be it. Milwaukee’s got several points in its favor: One, it’s a Midwest team from the NL Central. Two, the Brewers are not a traditional power, and I always like the underdogs. And three, I like any team named after the blue-collar workers from the town the team comes from, whether it’s the Steelers, the Packers or the Brewers.

So I guess I’ll be cheering for the Brewers over the next couple of weeks. And by “cheering,” I mean maybe glancing at the box scores once in a while. Perhaps a better word for my participation in the baseball playoffs will be “ignoring.”

It’s October, folks. The Cardinals are done. Let’s go watch some football.